Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Moments Before I Met You.....

My Dear Sweet Baby Boy (well I hope you'll be sweet),

I wanted to take a few minutes to sit down and share my thoughts and feelings with you on this very special today.  Today is the day I finally get to meet you and hold you in my arms.  I have anticipated and looked forward to this day for much longer than the 9 months I have carried you inside of me.  I yearned for you so much longer than that.  I prayed and pleaded for you.   I made promises to be a better woman. I told the Lord He could take my life if I could just hold you and have yours for a single second.

That prayer wasn't answered immediately.  There were nights I laid in the fetal position while your dad held me, prayed for me when I couldn't find my way to my knees, and promised me it would be okay.  But, somewhere through that journey and so much pain that prayer was answered.  We were blessed to find out we were having you, and since that moment our lives have changed forever.

My sweet dear baby, there hasn't been a single day that has gone by I haven't thanked the Lord above for you.  I still find myself sending prayers of thanks when I roll over at 3 am (after getting up to pee for the 18th time) and feel your little legs and arms flutter around inside.  In some ways, I am somewhat sad.  I am not sad to finally have you, but am sad this special time that just the two of us share will be over.  The special moments spent rubbing my belly and feeling the special connection that I know only we share right now will be gone.  I will now have to share you with so many of the other people who love and have anticipated your arrival too.  And well, I guess I am a little but selfish.

I can't think of a sweeter day to have you.  Today is the 19th anniversary of my Grandma Wilde's passing.  You haven't met her (at least not on this side of the veil), but I know she was one of the ones who pleaded in our behalf with the Father to let us have you.  And, my sweet baby boy I find so much peace in knowing that very literally you will be ushered down here by the hosts of heaven.

I hope you like it here.  I hope we will be the kind of parents you deserve.  I hope I have what it takes to raise you to be a good man, a man full of integrity and strength.  I hope that life in our home will have some resemblance of the peace and love you are surrounded with in the pre-mortal world you are now leaving.  I hope you always know you are loved.  I cannot wait to meet you Gibson.  I cannot wait to hold you for the very first time.... and I cannot wait to be your mother.  I wish you the safest and most peaceful of travels and you make your way here in these final hours.  Thank you for being my mirable baby, and the answer to so many prayers.  See you soon!


Love,
Your Mom